I love my job. I love my job. Boudoir photography has brought some beautiful humans into my life. Nicole is another one to add to my list. Without hesitation, she was ready to share her story in hopes that another "tomboy" like her got the little push to book a session & find their sexy selves.
I am and always have been an energetic and bubbly person. I’ve heard it at work and at school: “You have so much energy! Where do you get the energy? I wish I had some of your energy.” And it is true! I have been on the go and active form a young age, shuttled from dance lessons to a softball game or taking a spontaneous trip to London and attending a family wedding 3 hours after I landed back in the States. I am constantly moving and constantly smiling (or laughing). I enjoy learning and trying new things and overall, I crave adventure! I try to embrace the crazy, the uncomfortable, and push myself to be the best version of myself that I can be.
I consider myself an attractive young woman…but I tend to be silly and goofy; a tomboy. I love lifting weights, running, getting in the mud, and expressing myself LOUDLY! In fact, I made it a point growing up that I would not try to win any boy’s approval but instead, I wanted to be better than them and beat them at their own game. So never in a million years did I think boudoir was “on brand” for me. I was not called “sexy” or even aware of my own sex appeal. I desperately wanted to be sexy and have that power that comes from owning your sexuality I just didn’t know how to get there.
From about age 13, I have had a difficult relationship with food and my body. I am another young adult who fell victim to body dysmorphic and eating disorders and they got the better of me up until I turned 22. My problems did not go away by any means, but fast forward to today, and I have a new appreciation and even (dare I say it) love for my body.
With that quick summary of myself and my life, we are brought to the present and why I decided to contact Sarah and try boudoir.
I had been on a roll trying new things and getting out of my comfort zone this year so after seeing social media posts for Inspired Eye, I decided that the universe had given me enough signs and it was my turn to try this experience. I wanted to push my limits and let myself not only appreciate my body, but to pay ample attention to it and not be ashamed of it. When talking with Sarah I remember telling her that I didn’t know how to be sexy – I was a funny girl. As someone who grew up performing, I knew my type! Hell, I worked for Walt Disney World. If I was going to be a part of a sexy, bedroom photoshoot, I was going to need all the coaching available to make it look like I wasn’t a Mouseketeer.
The day of the shoot, I pulled into the driveway, outfits in hand and knew I couldn’t turn back. I walked into her home and that’s when one of the most empowering experiences of my life began – all cheesiness aside. The entire atmosphere and mood around the shoot was warm, welcoming, and inspiring. I really had no idea what to expect and yet it surpassed my expectations. Sure, after I got all dolled up it took a few minutes for me to get used to the hair, makeup, and posing. But once we got started, I felt the confidence in front of the camera grow. When Sarah had shown me one of the pictures as we were going along, it didn’t click in my brain that the woman in the picture was ME! I can look like that – correction, I DO look like that! I felt so strong and sexy and while my muscles were tired by then end, a part of me still wanted to keep going because I was so comfortable in my skin. Like I finally unfolded and relaxed into this piece of myself that I didn’t know how to handle or tap into.
When I told my friends, family, and some coworkers about this experience, they all asked me who was I doing it for? Most safely assumed it was for my boyfriend of almost four years and while I did want to share this with him and have him enjoy it, this boudoir experience was 100% for me. I truly wanted to grow from this and I feel like I did. It wasn’t a cure-all for the years of body issues and abuse, but it helped cement an important fact in me: I am a being, NOT a body. At first glance these pictures and moments are all about my body and it’s shape, how it moves, etc. But it’s more than that. Boudoir, for me, was about taking the parts of me that I dialed down and having confidence in them, not shame. It was being confident and shameless in the knowledge that I think I have amazing legs and an exceptional ass! Boudoir was liberating the parts of me that I held back to make other people more comfortable. Boudoir was confidence that peeked out behind Sarah’s camera and walked out the door with me long after the session was finished. I really encourage anyone and everyone who has ever thought about doing a boudoir photoshoot to do it. I actually vehemently suggest that it be on everyone’s bucket list! Not only will you surprise yourself with what you are capable of unleashing and embracing and loving, I truly believe you will become your newest and most favorite inspiration.