Guest Post: 2021 Brand Ambassador Haruka
You’d be so much prettier if you just lost some weight. How can you be sexy at your size? You have such a gorgeous face but the rest is… well you know. Wouldn’t you feel more confident if you were thinner?
Any of these sound familiar? I cannot tell you how many times I encountered these types of questions or statements from various people in my life. After a while, they seem to be true. You cannot imagine how you could be sexy, confident, gorgeous, stunning, or whatever you desire to be without being a skinny runway model.
I remember growing up and earning my lady curves at a very young age. Naturally, I was teased because I was viewed as fat. Of course looking back at those times, it wasn’t. What truly had me become a larger size later on in life was the depression that kicked in from being bullied into thinking I was something that I clearly wasn’t. By the time I entered high school, I did have eating issues, which eventually led me to losing weight, but come college, all that weight (and more) would all come back.
After graduating college, I tried everything possible to lose the weight in hopes to obtain that “desirable image” so many thought would look good on me. However, I kept spiraling and ended up hating myself on various levels. How will I ever be good enough? Who will love me looking like this? Why am I so unappealing and repulsive? Thoughts such as these would continue to haunt me. Here’s the thing, people are people with their own opinions and will always be judging. I decided THE ONLY THING THAT SHOULD MATTER IS MY OPINION OF ME.
At a family event, I was catching up with my cousin Sophia who was telling me all about her journey of leaving her previous job, enrolling into beauty school, and obtaining her dream job. I couldn’t have been more proud of her! During that conversation, she told me about the boudoir world, and while it intrigued me, it terrified me, too!
Boudoir. That’s only for women who are sexy. Thin, model-like, long flowing hair, the perfect face structure. Well at least, that was my thinking since that’s all I ever saw. Sophia told me about Sarah and told me to check out her website. Little did I know what would happen from there.
Perusing all the pictures of the women Sarah had worked with, my jaw dropped. All shapes, sizes, ages, just a bit of EVERYTHING! My heart exploded as each of them were just flat out stunning. Based on these images and my conversation with Sophia, I reached out to Sarah. Before I knew it, my first session was booked for January 2019 with her.
The day of my session arrived so quickly and I was scared shitless. I wanted to cancel and run as fast as I could but I didn’t. Upon knocking on Sarah’s door, the smile and hug (yes we could hug at that time LOL) she gave me, told me everything would be ok.
She showed me the studio, gave me a tutorial of everything to expect, and then asked if I wanted a drink. Just her sheer hospitality alone could help me relax. Sophia arrived shortly after and started asking me all these questions about hair, makeup, and I stared at her blankly like I have no clue!? Luckily, Sarah already had picked out the outfits for the shoot that Sophia had a bold purple idea so I said sure why not? Once done, I was handed a mirror to see the final result… I remember shaking a bit, because honestly, I never had my makeup or hair done professionally. I was legit in awe. I wanted to cry. There is evidence (LOL) but I remember telling Sophia she was a goddess for the magic she just had worked. I kept staring at myself… is this really me!? Holy bananas!
From there even more magic continued. Sarah and I picked out some jams to get sexy to, she walked me through all the poses, and there were so many laughs. The whole experience was a freaking blast! Time flew by and just like that it was over.
I think only a few days passed before I received an email from Sarah stating my image reveal was ready. I was at work that day and ran into a meeting space with my phone to look. I could hardly contain my excitement, but just before taping on the screen, my nerves spiked and all negative thoughts flowed. Ugh, what if I wasted my time? What if I hate how I look? How could I even think this would help me? What if I look terrible!? There’s no way these will be good… yeah, all those thoughts came back.
As each image began to load, my eyes teared up more and more. I couldn’t believe this was me!? I couldn’t believe how pretty, stunning, sexy, and strong I looked! Sarah you’re a freaking magician!!! Legit these were the first words I remember saying out loud. The best way I could sum everything up that I felt was in my review:
Where does one even begin when trying to put into words how simply creative, passionate, and professional Sarah is with her photography!? After struggling with body images for so long and then finally getting to a place where I felt comfortable, I wanted to do a boudoir for myself to see my accomplishments. My cousin had shared posts about her work with Sarah before so I figured why not reach out to her - let me tell you... I AM SO BEYOND HAPPY I DID!!! Sarah was extremely helpful in so many ways from providing information to working within my budget. I am forever grateful! Come time for the photography shoot, itself, I cannot deny I felt a little nervous, but Sarah was hilarious and helped me feel right at home! Even when she let me see a sneak peak, I just knew she was the right choice. As soon as I got the email my photos were ready, I ran to my computer and joyously cried. The angles, the lighting, the poses, EVERYTHING - Sarah captured sides of me that I didn't even know existed. If you're looking for someone who not only is a goddess herself but can show women the true goddesses they are, Sarah is your girl. I will recommend her time and time again!
To this day, those feelings remained. I never thought that just in about a year and a half, Sarah and I would cross paths again.
I continued to work on various goals I wanted for myself such as a different job, continuing my health and wellness journey, and just becoming more in tune with me and my needs. Guess what… I did just that! I landed a new job, lost a total of 130lbs, and found ways to be kind and supportive to myself from work to theatre to normal life. What better way to document this chapter than – you got it – another session with Sarah!
We shot in Aug 2020 at her new space with a new approach that highlighted a unique beauty look and great new sets and poses that allowed me to explore myself further…. we even did full nudes!! After my second session, I had all the same feels. The images made me feel powerful and after realizing the first time wasn't a fluke, I was dead set on making sure all the women in my life knew they could feel this way too.
Perfect timing as Sarah shared she was looking for brand ambassadors, and as soon as that application was ready, I dropped everything I was doing to fill it out. Our conversation went just as great as I had expected, but I remember telling Sarah that even if I wasn’t picked, I’d still be a cheerleader in some way for her. I truly believe (and still do) in her mission. Shortly after my birthday, I got the email from Sarah offering me a spot, and I legit cried and screamed - pretty sure my dogs and cat thought I lost my mind.
I am truly blessed to be a brand ambassador for Sarah and Inspired Eye Boudoir. I want to help empower each of you who may be nervous about doing a boudoir to celebrate yourself. Ask me questions. Share your fears. Be honest, open, and raw. I will be here to remind you why you can boudoir. Why you should do boudoir.
You will see a different side of you that perhaps you didn’t know existed. Each of us deserves to feel like the goddesses we truly are. We do a lot for those in our lives - our spouses, children, friends, families, coworkers, careers, and whatever else you fancy. TAKE TIME AND DO THIS FOR YOU.
With Sarah at your side, you will be in amazing hands and I promise you will not be disappointed.
So, are you ready to get naked and boudoir?
Hugs & Kisses