Smirky Breasts are Sexy // Chicago Boudoir Photographer
Client (and dear friend) Blog -- Kate M
Mom, karaoke star, food scientist, cancer survivor
So, I am a person with a lot of history… also a Scorpio, born in the year of the Pig. (This ensures I am if nothing else, passionate, gluttonous, and interesting!). So, I was always good at everything I did … to be fair, I had asthma at a young age, so sports were not in the cards, though I am surprisingly athletic. Just took me a minute to discover that. I was always creative and analytical, which can be divergent, but I made it work. I straddled art and science for a very long time, and finally found my home in food science, which is basically an application science that encompasses all aspects of food: from manufacturing to analysis, with a helluva lot in between.
As a kid, I was very into musical theatre…. I still know all of the lyrics to Annie and A Chorus Line, among other shows. Sadly, despite my passion, I don’t have the chops to be more than a karaoke star.
So, my desire to be a star led me to boudoir. I had a personal conflict between being shy and being fabulous in my mind. I had wanted to do a shoot for a long time before it actually happened. I actually set up a shoot with a friend, but then cancelled.
Just so everyone understands, I have had a difficult path to be sexy. In my youth, I had a lot of fun being adventurous, and prob inappropriate to some degree. But, in hindsight, I don’t think that helped me be sexy. I don’t think it was until I was married that I understood what sexy really meant. But once I got it, it was on!!
Then, flash forward to 2015, after having 2 wonderful kids. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Like, serious fucking cancer. Stage 2A with lymph node involvement. We scheduled a bilateral mastectomy, with chemo and radiation. I had reconstruction, and even fat grafting to help with shape. Sadly, none of that really worked, and I was left with some seriously smirky breasts. They literally laugh at me when I try to show cleavage. All of this led to dark times for my sexuality. In addition to smirky boobs, I had my ovaries removed… my cancer was reactive to estrogen, so anything to reduce the risk of recurrence was necessary. Needless to say, I went into premature menopause, which at 45 kind of sucked. So I was basically nonsexual at that point
I had always stayed in some sort of contact with my friend Sarah. Once I learned about her passion for Boudoir, I was initially interested, but eventually bowed out. Just was too scared to go there. Not ready, I’d say. Still too uncomfortable in my new skin. I knew and trusted Sarah, but just didn’t feel ok with being sexy.
But then, a few years later, another opportunity arose… I decided that I was ready this time, and I drove my insecure ass up to Chicago for a boudoir session with several other fabulous women. I was woefully unprepared after 2 years of covid isolation. I had no idea how to act. I arrived for the shoot with no clues about hair or makeup, and despite fervent negligee purchases, was somewhat ill~prepared and feeling every inadequacy possible.
Sarah managed to do her magic in between my panic attacks. My album is phenomenal….she is so smart about poses and gestures and simply making a person feel good in their skin. I learned that I hadn’t lost my sensuality, it just needed to be sparked. And nothing is better to spark sexy than a group of women eager to empower each other. For that, I am forever grateful.